Packing Guide: Hospital Birth Edition

As you know I'm having my second child soon. There are a ton of stressful things to do before baby gets here, but packing your hospital bag doesn't have to be one of them.

After my experience last time, I think I've come up with a pretty thorough list of things you might need while you're there (plus some definite wants- because let's face it, staying in the hospital sucks). The hospital I go to likes to keep you two nights so that they can monitor the baby and make sure you don't hemorrhage, so this is for a three day trip.

You'll WANT:

2-3 Pairs of yoga/maternity pants. (Your belly will not shrink over night and you will be sore. Very sore.)
2 Long tank tops. (Like the ones you wore at 5 months pregnant. It gets really hot in hospitals.)
2 T-shirts/& a sweatshirt. (Because like a menopausal woman, it also gets really cold in hospitals.)
A nice going home outfit. (Haha. Yeah. I'll be wearing one of those t-shirts home.)
A robe. (Breastfeeding Johnnys are THE WORST. I think I had more nip slips than Lil' Kim. Save yourself the awkward looks from the nursing students and just forgo the entire thing.)
Socks. (Circulation is a funny thing and frankly, hospital floors are scary.)
Granny Panties. (Or just go with the ones they give you. You're going to bleed through them anyway, so I just say save yourself the money and having to bring home the dirty laundry.)
2 Nursing bras/Sports bras (Even if you don't plan on breastfeeding, it's uncomfortable when your milk comes in- be prepared with stretchiness.)
Your makeup bag/hair stuff/toothbrush. (Nothing is better than the shower the next day/or directly after having your baby if you're feeling brave. Nothing. And nothing is better than feeling like yourself as much as humanly possible/looking non zombie-like in all of those pictures everyone will take while visiting.)
An iPad filled with movies/your computer. (Hospitals have like, two channels. Most have crappy TVs. Netflix in HD is a freaking sweet thing to have.)
A phone/iPad charger. (It's really as necessary as air.)
A Boppy. (Babies love that shit and you won't want to hold them ALL of the time. Ok, maybe you will, but it'll still help with the breastfeeding.)
A camera/charger/lenses. (Babies are cute, and cutest when they are sleeping- which is like, all of the time after birth. Plus you will be bored out of your gourd.)
A few outfits for baby. (Plus hats, socks, headbands... whatever else you want to dress them up in. You'll want to get it out of your system after ten months.)
Swaddling blankets. (Because even if it's 80 out, you'll want to make sure your baby is warm enough on the way home.)

Optional:

Earbuds. (Sometimes you won't get your own room and your neighbor may not want to hear hours upon hours of Gossip Girl.)
Ear plugs. (See reason above.)
Slippers. (Because they're comfy.)
Hair elastics. (If you've got a lot of hair.......)
Favorite nonperishable snacks. (Because you're going to be HUNGRY afterward.)
A pillow from home. (Because, let's face it... hospitals aren't hotels.)
Change. (Vending machines and what not.)


Hopefully this helps any other soon to be mommas out there. Good luck from one pregnant person dreading birth to another.

37 Weeks

You hear that kid? FULL TERM! Consider that your eviction notice!

Real Life: I'm A Leash Mom

I finally did it.

The best and worst thing you can do as a parent.

After sprinting for Colt entirely too many times into on coming traffic with hands full, ridiculously pregnant and while spraining every single muscle in my crotch and underbelly-

I bought a toddler harness.

Judge if you like. Whisper terrible things. Sling rude comments under your breath...

But if you've ever had a toddler that absolutely DOES NOT stay still, no matter how many times you beg, plead, or full on yell- you know these things are life savers.

(Clearly this is a dramatization. While he actually enjoys wearing his "backpack", I would never put it on him to go out in our back yard.)

And hey- remember people... I'm not spanking my kid in the underwear aisle at Walmart or leaving him in the car with the window cracked. Just trying to save him from an untimely demise due to vehicles or other dangers he could easily succumb to while I literally blink.

99 Problems And Bees Are One

A few days ago a bee flew into our house.

Well, a wasp. A ground wasp to be exact.

Ryan was home at the time, so I grabbed Colt and took him into our bedroom and shut the door while he dealt with it (aka, whacking it with a broom). He successfully eradicated said wasp.

A few days later while letting the dogs out and simultaneously making lunch, another one flew in. I grabbed a large tupperware top to whack him down (clearly our go-to method of stunning them). Colt was obviously scared, and truth be told, so was I. Wasps are terrible little creatures. I know they serve their purpose in the circle of life or whatever- but I much prefer Bumble bees. At least they can't hide in your soda can due to their size... (and maybe I secretly sympathize with things that have big butts in general). Anyway, whacked, shooed. End of scary slow motion scenario where I'm trying to shield myself with 48 square inches of plastic.

Since that moment though, thanks to my awesome reaction... Colt has been petrified of bees.

Every day.

"Mom, bees all gone?"   Yes, bees are all gone.
"Bees tired and go home?"   Yes, the bees are all sleeping in their bee homes.
"No more bees?"        Yes, no more bees. Bees all gone. Bees went bye bye.

In the kitchen, he's at my skirt tails (haha, ok underfoot). In the living room, he's sitting on top of me.

Always, "Mom, no bees?" No, Colt, no bees! Bees died! Bees went to bee heaven! (ok, not really)

He only feels safe in our bedroom with the door shut, under the covers. Which is kind of nice, because all I want to do is nap nowadays... and well... convenient.

After day after day of this, we broke down and bought Bee Movie. I was hoping he'd change his mind about bees and think they were cute... or maybe even funny if he has terrible taste in comedy (sorry, not sorry Jerry)... but it hasn't happened yet. And I'm not really sure where to go from here.

Option A. Let him be scared of bees and run the possibility of me going insane.

Or option B. Have him change his mind about bees and think they are friendly... but knowing toddlers only know extremes- run the possibility of him trying to pet/hug/squeeze him and call him George. Inevitably ending in him being scared of bees.


Ugh. I'm going to lose my bee-ping mind.

36 weeks!

I'm officially 9 months! Only one more week until I'm considered Full Term and baby Kate can come whenever she likes (and trust me, the sooner the better)!

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately, I've been super exhausted and between nesting/checking off my list of things to do before baby gets here and chasing after Colt- I don't have a lot of energy these days. Keep checking in though, I hope make some time in the near future.

35 Weeks

And stiiiiiiiillll pregnant. Not that I wouldn't want to be, or anything...

Circus Circus

Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus! Circus!

It's all I'd heard for three days beforehand because I made the rookie mistake of using a fun event to try and coax my son into behaving- completely forgetting he has no concept of time and that three days might as well be three decades in toddler years.

Saturday we ventured out to take Colt to the circus for the first time. I won't lie, in the days leading up we watched videos from circus' past so that he had a clue what we meant by circus... and it worked. He was more excited than Kim Kardashian at A Little White Chapel in Vegas.

He met Mickey, and Goofy, Elmo and Cookie Monster... so he was already happier than a clam in mud by the time we got in.

We did the whole experience... popcorn, pretzels, snow cones, cotton candy... light sticks, balloons, crazy toddler spazing on a sugar rush... you name it.

And while we only made it to intermission before he started getting antsy in his pantsies... I think he had a great time... and I'm sure I'll hear about it for weeks to come.